U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
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