He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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