So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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