I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize