love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
