Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
