So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
