You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
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becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
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You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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