You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
