Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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