Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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