So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
