I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
