Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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