I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize