Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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