May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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