Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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