weddingsv make me drug and hornr
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
