why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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