I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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