If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
