No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
