all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
