Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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