thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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