My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
