Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
