just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
