I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
