You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
