So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
