I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
