dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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