I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
