you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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