I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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