There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
my liver is dry heaving
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I enjoy the company of your penis
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