More tranny stories later!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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