..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
