i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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