I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
