His pubic hair was longer than his dick
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
