Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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