Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
