Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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