So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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