I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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