Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
