Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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