somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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