Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
