...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize