New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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