you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
