just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
