first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
