I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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