He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
