Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
