so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
