if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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