you traded sex for a burrito?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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