I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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