She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
