i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
