hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
