my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
