i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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