This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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